Wednesday, February 18, 2015
I am not very familiar with anything church history related; therefore I have learnt many things from this class. 1) I’ve learnt so many things when it comes to the Monks. I found their lifestyle quite fascinating. With Christianity being legalized in their time, the desired persecution that comes with serving the Lord was now missing from the faith. The Monks took this into their own hands and created their own version of persecution through poverty, chastity and obedience. It is just so neat that they desired to love the Lord so much that without persecution they felt something was missing. I’m not sure if this is really a good thing or not but yet it is very interesting and I respect them for it. 2) 24/7 prayer was understood all throughout history. The Monks understood the importance of 24/7 prayer, and it lasted for hundred of years in Cluny Abbey in France and Agaunum Monastery in modern day Switzerland. Sometimes I get in my head that IHOP has come up with this brilliant new idea, never been heard before 24/7 prayer and worship, but in all reality it has been established all throughout history. 3) The final thing I have learnt in this class is based on the quote from our first session, “We learn from history, that we learn nothing from history.” This is so true, you would think after all we have been through, that we would have learnt something by now, yet history continues to repeat itself. We must remember the past and learn from it, not just let it happen over and over again. There you have it, the three things I have learnt in this class. Of course you may take credit for teaching me more than three things, but these three have definitely stuck out the most to me.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
…I am with you always, even to the end of the age. (Matthew 28:20)
I sit and wait for the Lord to answer my prayers. Yet, sometimes I feel as though I am all alone in this world. He doesn’t hear me, He doesn’t answer me, and He doesn’t give me my hearts desires.
It is a wrestle, every day. Where are you Lord and why are you not giving me what I want? You said it, ”Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). I’m delighting Lord… and I am not receiving. It is selfish really, but it is the way I feel.
I am reminded time and time again of the many men and women in the Bible. Many of them waited for such a long time for the Lord to speak to them. For example, John the Baptist served faithfully in the wilderness for many years, for a measly 6-month ministry. I’m not saying his ministry was weak or small or he didn’t do amazing things preparing the way for the Lord, but 6 months? Seriously? That goes by in the blink of an eye. Or even think of Jesus for that matter, 30 years of waiting, for it to all go down in a short 3 ½ years. What were they thinking? Did they feel as I feel? I guess I will only know one day, when I speak to them face to face.
This day and age, we’ve been programmed. Whether it be from our parents, our friends, our colleagues, the media, or simply just the world around us. We think because the world says, you must do something amazing with your life, get a job, get married, have children, have a successful career, that for some strange reason sitting at the feet of Jesus like Mary did, seems like I am doing something wrong. The world wants me to be a Martha, and now I just don’t know what I want or what God wants for me.
I feel like I’ve been in a 25-year waiting period. The Lord speaks from time to time, encourages me, and uplifts me, but yet I can so quickly forget about it all. I want answers to life questions: I’m a planner you see. I need to know the basic outline of what I will be doing for my entire life for me to actually be at ease. Here I am, not sure of my external calling, not sure what to do with my life after I finish school, and not sure where my future lies. When the Lord doesn’t speak on these specific matters in my life I feel lost, alone and neglected.
With all that said, when it comes down to it, He knows me. He really knows every little part of me, he fashioned me himself for crying out loud, I should be able to trust that he has my best interests in mind.
Psalm 139:1-6 says this,
1 O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
2 You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off.
3 You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
5 You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it.
So I will gladly continue on this journey: this journey of enchanting highs and dreary lows.
But I know, Lord, you are with me always. I don’t get you, I don’t get your plans and frankly I feel left out sometimes. But your ways are bigger than mine, and I trust you.